Iron Chef: Gordon Ramsay vs Yami Yugi
by Psychicbyinternet
Summary: A parody of the battle between Yami Yugi and Anubis in Yu-Gi-Oh: the Movie  Pyramid of Light  with Gord Ramsay replacing Anubis.


Hello Yu-gi-oh! Fans and haters. This is a parody of the duel between Anubis and Yami Yugi in Yu-Gi-Oh! The movie. I nostalgically watched the movie all the way through before writing this and noticed that Anubis has the same shriveled apricot face as Gordon Ramsay and blond hair to boot! This is definitely not my best work and I think it would be a lot funnier if it was done as a voice-over dub on YouTube, but I don't know how to do that, so I'm posting it here for your enjoyment. It is also inspired by LittleKuriboh's Abridged Series.

G = Anubis/Gordon Ramsay

Y = Yugi

K = Kaiba

Yu-gi-oh! The movie: Zoom forward to the final duel between Yami Yugi and Kaiba.

Yami Yugi and Kaiba are dueling in Kaiba's massive duel dome. Kaiba is about to defeat Yugi.

Yami Yugi: Something is going terribly wrong.

Kaiba: For you, that is. I just beat you! In a few minutes I'll be sitting in a room full of hookers and crack while you'll be escorted back to your miserable game shop. I'm the winner now. Winning. It's all because I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. Winning.

Y: You have no idea what's at stake here! My special hair treatments, for instance.

K: Spare me, Yugi. Sexy shiny swindling sneaky sniper dragon attack with bitch slap!

The dragon attacks Yugi.

Y: Oh god! The pain!

K: Feel the burn. That's the only way you'll get abs like mine!

Y: Ow, it hurts!

K: You don't like corn? Don't worry – this time it will be different!

Y: You lie! It's not different at all, Kaiba! I will summon cream puff and obnoxious in-law!

Summons cream puff and obnoxious Celtic guardian.

K: Wow. I'm dueling a noob.

Gord Ramsay: (inside Kaiba's mind) He's a fucking failure, that's for sure.

K: Wait, who are you?

G: I'm your boss, you donkey! Use the food pyramid to destroy that fucking vegetarian!

Yugi notices that Kaiba is talking to himself.

Y: Has he gone mad? He's talking to himself. Kaiba! Snap out of it! We have to stop dueling each other!

K: (Shifts his attention back to Yugi) Oh, I'm going to stop all right. By pwning you!

G: Yeah! Kill the bloody donkey!

K: Get out of my head!

G: Use the cocksucking food pyramid for fuck's sake!

K: Ok, whoever the hell you are, watch your language. Even I don't swear that much.

G: Fuck you, ya quail! Just do what I say, or you'll never be a chef!

K: But I never said I wanted to be a chef!

G: (loud enough to be heard by Yugi as well) You are a fucking disgrace, Kaiba! You take your jacket off and fuck off!

K: What?

G: Oh, you're pissed? Not as pissed as I am! Get out of my kitchen!

K: You can't do this to me! I'm rich and I have green hair!

G: Get out!

A dark figure emerges from the ground behind Kaiba. It gradually becomes Chef Gordon Ramsay.

K: No! You're not the boss of me!

G: Get out, you useless sack of shit! DONKEY!

Ramsay grabs Kaiba by the hair and knocks him unconscious.

G: What a fucking disgrace. Idiot.

Gordon Ramsay turns to Yami Yugi.

G: Useless bugger he is, yes?

Y: Who are you? (grossed out) Your face is so disgusting, like a rotted apricot!

G: I'm your pimp, you fucking bitch! My name is Gordon Ramsay, fucking God of cooking.

Y: Excuse me?

G: You're a donkey. Make me your signature dish. Now!

Y: What? Fine, fine. Just stop swearing. Your language makes me very uncomfortable.

G: That's uncomfortable? How would you like me to take your duel disk and shove it up your ass, ya donkey?

Y: Yikes. Ok, calm down. I will make you this dish you are demanding.

Yugi quickly produces a plate with black slime on it and presents it to Chef Ramsay.

G: This is your signature dish? This? Oh my God.

Chef Ramsay throws up.

Y: But it's Egyptian!

G: It's black slime. It tastes like fucking tar! Taste this!

Ramsay shoves the plate of slime in Yami's face.

Y: Do I really have to?

G: Taste it!

Y: Oh God.

Yami throws up.

Y: I'm…. a terrible cook…

Yami starts crying.

G: It's dripping everywhere. Fucking unbelievable!

Y: Have you no mercy?

G: You know what? Don't quit your fucking day job, dick face!

Y: (gasps) Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

G: Damn straight. And many other fucking people as well. Meet the wife and my son. I'm going to serve you to them, the way I make turkey on thanksgiving.

Two sphinx-like creatures suddenly appear, both with extremely sharp teeth.

Y: What? But why would you kill me?

G: Because you're a damn vegetarian. Tana, attack!

Gord Ramsay's wife bares her extremely sharp teeth and heads over to Yami to eat him, but Yami stops her.

Y: Wait, there is a weakness in the food pyramid's power! There aren't enough vegetables and there is too much meat. That is why it is malfunctioning!

G: Bullshit. You just want me to think that, you fucking vegetarian!

Y: You should taste this delicious vegetarian Shining Blue Eyes white dragon! It is so delicious that it breaks your food pyramid!

Ramsay tastes it and spits it out right away. Meanwhile the food pyramid breaks into a million pieces.

G: Fucking bullshit! I don't care. I'll get my son to take off your apron for you if you don't have the balls to fucking do it!

Y: But I won.

G: Get out of my kitchen, ya donkey!

Y: Yes, chef! Wait, what am I saying?

G: Get out!

Y: Not so fast. I also want you to taste my delicious combo of Slifer tomatoes, Obelisk blue cheese and Ra pasta. All the food groups except meat.

Yami summons Obelisk the Tormentor, The Winged Dragon of Ra and Slifer the Sky Dragon. Chef Ramsay tastes it.

G: It's…. actually edible. Fuck me.

Y: Thank you?

Ramsay is suddenly surrounded by smoke.

G: Fuck. I'm defeated. Wait, I thought I just lost my next TV deal. What is all this smoke for? Where am I going?

Y: To Hell's Kitchen.

G: Oh God! I'll get you, ya donkey! I'll get you, and your little fucking dog, too!

The smoke swallows the foul-mouthed chef.


End file.
